Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
