we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
