operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
