Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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