I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
