She is in my trunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
sex in a hospital.. check
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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