this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
