Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
