Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if only i could text you this smell
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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