I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
