when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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