dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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