Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
