Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
