2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
