you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
