I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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