I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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