she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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