he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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