Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
