Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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