maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
