Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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