You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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