I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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