I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
