recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I will pee on everything he values.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
