u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
