YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need a beard to bite.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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