I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
