respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
