Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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