Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
