Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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