i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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