VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
