Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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