I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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