She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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