I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's never too late to be topless.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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