I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
