Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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