the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
