it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
