Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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