I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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