She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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