I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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