I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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