Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
