That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
