I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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