i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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