I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
