I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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