He kissed a someone with a penis
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize