I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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