I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
